Wednesday, January 21, 2009

"You've gotta put your behind in the past"

2009. It has such a nice ring to it. I have a very good feeling that this will the year that things will settle down, that life will even out, things will change. This year, we are gonna make it through with no despair, devastation or loss. I just know it. But, if in fact that is not true, we will survive. Just as we've always done. Life will go on. God will still be there with open arms.

We've had a lot happen to us in just one year. From the very beginning of 2008 to the very end. We lost a job, lost our home, and lost a dear loved one. We moved from Georgia to Louisiana, left behind good friends and family. Reagan started a new school, Brian, a new job. I found out I was expecting our fourth baby and admittedly, was not very happy about it.

In February of 08, Brian's company went under. We spent months looking for a job in GA. It was hopeless. The only callback he got was from a gravel company in Franklinton, LA. So off he went, leaving the rest of us until Reagan finished school, trying to make a new life for us.

We had our home on the market since Brian lost his job. We dropped the price many times to no avail. We tried a short sale, with no luck, and just couldn't afford it any longer. We ended up losing it. It was devastating but we knew we had no other choice but to let it go and move on.

After Reagan got out of school, I packed up the kids and headed to Louisiana. We moved in with my parents until we could get into our new house. Brian commuted back and forth from Franklinton to Lafayette until he just couldn't bear it any longer. He decided to try and get a job in Lafayette and did so at Hub City Industries.

Our summer turned out to be a great one, despite all the turmoil. The kids had so much fun with their cousins and we had parties, frog nights, and many fun times with Nana and Poppy. We took a trip to Florida with Justin, Aimee and the kids and just relaxed.

School started and Reagan flourished. She adjusted well to her new school and has made many friends. She has made straight A's so far and the Principal's List twice so far. She is proud of her accomplishments, as are we.

I found out I was expecting in September. It will be my third pregnancy and fourth baby. I was really not excited about the news as most new parents are. We weren't trying to have a baby, nor did we want to have another one I felt so guilty and ashamed for feeling that way. It was a shock and took some getting used to but now I am so happy and I can't wait to meet the little acrobat who is flip flopping around inside my belly as I type.

The holidays were bittersweet. Thanksgiving was spent with Brian's family. It was great to visit with everyone and we had a great time at Carol's farm. Christmas was good. We spent it at home for once and then went to Mom and Dad's for a late lunch and to open presents with the crew. It was a great day.

The worst of it all, was when Larry left us. It was a shock, it was the worst thing that could have ever happened. We were all left in a state of shock, disbelief, anger and grief. Reagan still cries about her Paw Paw. We loved him so much. We all lost a part of ourselves when he died and will never fully understand the reason for his choices but we still love him and miss him dearly. He was such an awesome person. I personally thought of him as another dad. He welcomed me to his family, he loved my babies more than life and he always made me smile with one of his antics or smart comments. I can't imagine never seeing him again or hearing his voice. So sad.

I think I can label that the worst year of my life so far. So many life changes and so much heartache all rolled into ONE year. Wow! But it also says a lot about our family. We are strong, we made it through together, by the grace of God, we can do anything. I thank God for such a wonderful husband, three great kids, and an awesome support system of family and friends. Watch out '09, here we come.

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